A Beggar's Doaa

My name is ne'ma (meaning blessing). I'm ten years old. One of my legs is bandaged. People tell me I have a pretty face. They stop by to give me coins at times. Some give me paper money; what my mother awaits for every night. She's an old woman, my mother. I want to tell her that things would be better so she would stop crying at night. I want to tell her that her prayers would be answered, but I don't know if God hears her.

We live in a small place. My father used to work for our building's owner, until war came. He worked for late hours and was out when the sky rained red. I wonder what he had done for mother to pray that he'd be forgiven every night.
"He traveled to our village and they have no cars to bring him back," She would tell me when I ask where he went.
I remember his talks about our relatives and stories of history. His one pair of black shoes is still on the blue carpet by the door. Mother cleans them whenever we're back from a long day away from home and they grab a bit of dust.

I've had two car accidents this week from standing at the traffic lights. One of which my leg was hurt. The green light had turned red and I was waiting at a car's window, held on to it, talking to the driver, until it moved. I jumped back to the ground but couldn't stand. I saw mother running towards me, yelling at the driver, as I was taken to the sidewalk. I woke up later with a pain in my left leg and a bandage.

Mother and I go back home at sunset everyday. We take the bus to downtown. The sky looks like the painting I see in the antique shop. I see people from the window as cars pass by. I usually fall asleep until we get to our neighborhood. We get off the bus and go to bakery to get bread with the coins we have. Mother would take me by the hand, we cross the street, then she leaves my hand to reach her pocket under her vail and find the door's keys. I go to bed as she prepares dinner, then wake up to the smell.

I sometimes dream of a day that passed two years ago. It was right after my father traveled. We needed money, mother didn't have a job and couldn't find one for her age. She told me to go out and ask for money. It was my first time. That day, I gathered a lot of coins, it made mother want me to go out more.

Sometimes I wonder if someone would've taken care of me and mother I wouldn't have had to go out that day. Sometimes it's all I think about.

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